grow up

this will be the first of my 'grow up' series...

i just kind of felt like writing after all this time.

'grow up.' that was what my dear ate joy told me when i was being a bit immature.

and somehow, it struck me.

i, of twenty four years of age, living as a woman, still have not yet grown up.

or grown up in the sense of being an adult.

or how an adult is commonly perceived as.

i haven't graduated, i don't have a job right now, much less a career, i still live at home with my parents, and worse, my sisters currently support me.

i still play pc games, watch cartoons and eat chocolates.

grow up.

why is that concept so strange to me.

somehow, i never saw myself growing up and being an adult. i mean, i want to be independent and grow up, stand on my own, but i don't know. it just never happened. and now my life is more stuck to my parents and sisters than before.

and now i can't see myself growing up.

what is growing up anyway?

making decisions on your own.

having a degree.

having a career.

being able to pay the bills.

having a relationship?

and here i go rambling.

don't get me wrong, i do want to grow up.

i just don't know how.