don't you just get tired of people asking you stupid questions? i mean, of course they don't know they're asking a stupid insensitive question, but hey, what can we do about it? they don't know about the experience. and here i go explaining to them what's what. what exactly am i ranting about? here...
you see, no, you don't see, because i have not wrote about it so you wouldn't know, but anyways, i am for the lack of a better term, seeing someone. and bite your tongue if you're going to ask, is he straight?
OF COURSE HE IS. i don't get it. i have had a couple, no, a few people ask me this after i tell them about him. as far as i can remember, i never saw anything in him that would tell me he's gay. and besides, i don't go for gay guys, i have had a crush on one or three, but i know how to pick them, and the person i'm seeing, i know is straight.
i feel, these people, my friends, my good friends, don't know how much that question means if you ask a person with my experience. i actually felt insulted. it's like, you acknowledge that i'm a girl, you accept my idealogy and think of me as a girl, and yet, when a guy likes me, you still think of me as a boy and feel that the person who likes me is gay, because he is attracted to me. that's just wrong.
like how i discussed this with a very good friend of mine, who, by whatever reason unknown to me, took up nursing, so she should have had a better understanding about the experience, but well, i was a bit disappointed. basically, what i told her was, well, it's a bit complicated, but simple in a way as well.
we are dealing with preference and sexual orientation here. being gay is more of one's sexual orientation, about one's preference in mates. in my explanation to her, a guy, a girl, a trans-girl or a trans-boy can be gay, in the sense that they like a person of the same sexual orientation or preference as they have. a girl is gay if she is into and is attracted to another girl, a trans-girl is also gay in this line of thought if she is into or is attracted to another girl or trans-girl. a guy is gay if he likes another guy, a trans-boy can be gay if he likes another boy or a trans-boy as well. so anybody can be gay, as long as they are attracted to a person who shares the same sexual orientation as they have. but in light of argument, how can a gay person be attracted to a straight person? or a girl be attracted to a gay guy?
now it has something to do with how a person identifies. a girl, a straight girl can be attracted to a gay guy because said gay guy though has a preference for guys, because despite this preference, he still identifies as male, and since he identifies as male, the girl can be attracted to him. this is also why a gay guy's crush for a straight guy would be deemed ok, because the straight guy is still a guy, which the gay guy likes.
so, given these explanations, why would a gay guy be attracted to a trans-girl? i'm not saying that's impossible. let me rephrase my question, why would a guy be not straight if he's attracted to a trans-girl? using my explanation, it would be perfectly normal if a straight guy would be attracted to a trans-girl, because even if both were assigned male at birth, one is a boy and the other is a girl. as i have proven, this question was asked because my friends still considered me as a boy, and with how they think, that if a boy likes another boy, whether the boy is actually trans-girl or not, the boy would be gay. and that's a bit hurtful.
i personally think that a straight guy can be attracted to a trans-girl without him needing or becoming gay. i am a girl, so a guy can be attracted to me. i really don't get why i have to get this question. maybe because it is hard to understand such concepts. and that is why we are here. and by we, i mean girls who have the experience. we are here to educate and enlighten people. we can get mad and offended, but remember, they do not know. that's why we have to tell them. explain to them. teach them.
my friend and i ended our conversation with her apologising. and of course, i accepted it. and i am pleased that i was able to explain to her.
but what about the possibility that a gay guy does get attracted to a trans-girl? i told her, then that gay guy must be bisexual. or confused.
and as i realized from our conversation as i am finding out now, no matter how hard i explain, it just boils down to who we are at the end of the day. or how we identify at the end of the day.
so, the guy who likes me isn't gay. he's straight. he is.
Kenneth is back - Heard from reliable sources that my long-time fave therapist is back at Hoja de Laurel (Quezon Avenue, Quezon City). One of the more good looking ones too....
2 months ago