transphobia rearing its fugly head

i am saddened that two of my sisters, naomi and sass, were victims of a recent hate mail. you can read more about it here.

why does hatred like this still exist? is it to remind us that the battle is not yet over?

i believe that this is an opportunity for transpinays to uphold what STRAP is here for: to inspire. let us take this hatred and use it to show how beautiful transpinays really are.

we can get affected by it, but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. i pity this simple minded ignoramus. much he doesn't know. he is stuck to the bigotry and blindness that he is still believing to be true. and we should pity such a person, despite his efforts to bring us down.

to you my sisters naomi and sass, i will always always be here for you, in the moment you can no longer take the pain, the ignorance, the hate, i will be there to embrace and comfort you. that time may never happen, but when it does, my arms are always here.

to transpinays everywhere: keep the flame burning!

The Society of Transsexual Women of the Philippines Renaissance Manifesto

last august 8 and 9 of the year of lour lord 2009, the monthly support group meeting of STRAP was held at the renaissance makati city hotel manila. this was one of the most historic events in our organization, one, for we have reached a plum number of 12 attendees, and two because this was when the titular manifesto was drafted. here is the said manifesto:





here's to hoping we can make it all happen.

hope and despair

sometimes we falter, but what's important is we stay on track and hope for the best.

that was one of my status messages on my facebook. i wrote that, because, at that time, i was indeed faltering in my dream. i felt, would he really like me for me? is he avoiding me? what if he doesn't realize it is me?

but then, hope sprung eternal.

'Hope is not a dream but a way of making dreams become reality.' -anonymous

now that is my status. for like i often say, even if he does not reciprocate my feelings, even if he turns me down, even if he hurts me, i am prepared. i am even willing to get hurt, if that is what is needed for myself to prove to him my love.

for i want my love for him to be truly unconditional, never asking for anything in return, and can do anything in the name of love.

i don't know, some people might think i am delusional, or obsessed, but i feel sane. i am just very hopeful. and well, i think you really can't understand how i feel if you don't know how it is to have hope. when you have hope, everything seems possible. nay, everything IS possible. and despite obstacles and bumps in the way, we should still keep on track, for the end of the road will come sooner or later.

i love him, and i just do. that is why i shall never lose hope.

the epiphany

An epiphany (from Ancient Greek ἐπιφάνεια Epiphaneia, “manifestation, striking appearance”) is the sudden realization or comprehension of the (larger) essence or meaning of something. The term is used in either a philosophical or literal sense to signify that the claimant has "found the last piece of the puzzle and now sees the whole picture," or has new information or experience, often insignificant by itself, that illuminates a deeper or numinous foundational frame of reference.

that, is the definition from wikipedia of the eponymous word for this post i am writing. i, gia alessandra, indeed has had an epiphany. i have suddenly realized and now found the last piece of the puzzle that is my life. it is funny, that the missing piece was always that one i always knew.

and so, this is my epiphany. it's him. he is the one i've been waiting for all these years, he is the reason i exist. i feel, not to be pessimistic, but more so ideal, i can no longer love anyone else. i may meet someone else, but in my heart of hearts, i know it's just him. my heart beats only for him. he is the person i want to live the rest of my life with. he is my destiny.

and no, i am not just being carried away with what my friends say. i've been constantly having these dreams, and when i am sleepless, only his face shows up in my mind. and no, i am not obsessed. i am only realizing how much i loved him, how much i still do, and how much he is the one for me.

now, the hard part is for him to realize now that i'm the one for him. am i ready to wait for another ten years, for it took me that long to realize this? maybe. i feel, he is the mate my soul has been looking for all this millennia. if not in this lifetime, then i will go back and live another life, if only to search for him again and again. it's him. i'm sure. i've never been this sure.

i am happy, that i have finally realized this, i feel a sense of contentment, that i know who or what i need to be complete, and afraid at the same time, for he may not know it yet, or if for him, i am not the one he is looking for. but it is ok. what's important is i love him, and that's what matters.

i love you. i have always did. i still do. and i will, forever.

untitled

he was my first, and i want him to be my last.

i guess, i'll never love again, if this is to be true.

i am happy i got to see him again, and even talk to him even if just for a few minutes, but they were the longest minutes of my life.

i do regret, however, that my courage failed me to come out and talk to him, despite the many claims he was looking and asking for me.

i will forever have a hole in my heart.

i will get through this, perhaps forget, but i know i will always have that hole.